


She Don't Talk To Me

by amanda_jolene



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Season 2, TW: homophobic slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 19:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1995924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amanda_jolene/pseuds/amanda_jolene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She talks to birds. She talk to angels. She talks to trees. She talks to bees. She don't talk to me. (Rae/Archie friendship. Set in season 2 after the Simmy 'magic fanny' disaster)</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Don't Talk To Me

She talks to Chop first. Well, she never stopped talking to Chop because Chop wouldn’t let her. When Chloe had told them at the pub that Rae had gotten herself kicked out of school, Chop had stood up and left (Izzy tells them later her went to check on his Raemundo because she was his best mate). 

By extension, she talks to Izzy, too. 

Finn is next. Archie’s not real sure how that happened because one day Finn is acting like she doesn’t exist and the next he’s whispering to Chop about how he can’t go to the party because Rae and Finn are going to talk again on Friday. 

She even talks to Chloe after a spell of silence. 

But she doesn’t talk to him (neither does Chop anymore). 

She doesn’t take his calls and she won’t come to the door. He sees her on the street one day and he raises a shake hand and calls, “Rae!” She doesn’t look down, doesn’t look away, doesn’t raise her hand or bother to say hey. She walks right past him looking straight ahead and he knows he’s gone from being her gay best friend to some faggot she doesn’t know. 

He doesn’t get it. 

What had he done? He had laughed. That’s all. He had laughed at a stupid joke made by a stupid prick and it was just because he wanted to fucking survive college and if she were his friend, she would understand that. Of all the people in his life, she should understand that survival takes precedence over everything else. She should know that just because he had laughed didn’t mean he agreed, didn’t mean that his blood hadn’t boiled. But what was he supposed to do? What the fuck could he do? 

When she finally talks to Chloe again, he gives her a week. She comes to the pub and she sits next to Izzy and Finn and she talks to Chop and Chloe and then Archie asks her a question and she doesn’t even turn her head. He calls her name, calls it again and she looks at Chop and says, “Did you watch that alien movie on TV last night?” 

He waits until he’s sure she’s home and he slips on his shoes and runs all the way to her house because his nerves are too shot to drive. He pounds on the door and her mum answers and says, “She’s not-“ 

“I know she’s here and I need to speak with her.” 

“I got it, Mum.” She comes down the stairs and moves past her Mum and shuts the door behind her when she steps out on the porch. “What?” 

He had all of these things he wanted to say, angry things full of accusations about if she was really his friend and they all start to fall apart and rearrange and his voice cracks when he says, “Rae, I’m sorry.” 

She’s shaking her head, moving away from him when he tries to grab her hands. “It’s not enough, Archie. “ 

“What do you mean it’s not enough? I was wrong, Rae. I should have said something or maybe I shouldn’t have laughed-“ 

“Maybe?” She explodes. “Maybe you shouldn’t have laughed about some fucking prick talking about me?” 

“It was a joke!” 

“A joke? Oh ok, well how about I make a joke about you being gay and see-“ 

His hand is over her mouth. “Shut up, shut up.” 

She shoves him off of her and she’s crying and he’s crying and she shouts at him “See? See how it feels to have parts of you thrown out for everyone to talk about? See how it feels?”

“It’s not the same, Rae! It’s not the fucking same!” 

“You’re right, it’s not. Because you can hide behind your fucking rugby top and your cigarette smoke and talk about tits with the lads but I can’t hide who I am. You have an advantage over me in every possible way and you still-“

“Then lose some fucking weight and stop your fucking bitching!” He yells. Why did he say that? “I’m sorry, Rae. I am. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.” 

“You did. You did mean it,” she says quietly  
.  
His mouth is moving faster than his brain can process. _You’re my best friend and I love you please Rae please it’s just you and me you know we’ve got to be friends we have to because we’re all each other has-_

“No,” she stops him. “You’re not all I have. I’ll always have me and you… you don’t even have that.” 

It makes him mad. It makes him mad because it’s true because he admitted things to Rae long before he admitted things to himself and now what did he have? 

“What are you saying then?” His voice is louder than he means for it to be because as long as he’s loud, he can’t cry again. “Are you saying we can’t be friends?” 

“We were never really friends, were we? It’s always been about what I can do for you!” And she opens the door and slams it in the face and he stands there long after she’s turned the porch light off because it’s true. It always has been about him because he’s a selfish prick who had no one, not even himself. 

He sits on her front steps and lights a cigarette he doesn’t even like and thinks about his life for a while. Girls he’s used and secret trysts and a stone in the bottom of his stomach that never went away. He’s crying and wiping his nose on his shirt sleeve. She’s not coming back out and he trudges home after midnight and when his dad asks him where he’s been, he gives a watery smile and says, “With a girl.” 

Because he’s got no one, not even himself, to care if he lies the rest of his fucking life.


End file.
